Anticipation

Considering if I should lock this blog up .

And open it to some people only . .Hmmmm .
Or make private blog again xDD .

Decisions decisions . .

Gotta grow up . Gotta stay strong

sometimes i wish that when someone asks if i'm okay

and i say yeah , 

they say 'i know you're not , stop lying'

Sometimes i wish people would stop going

'emoing ar'

'NO!'

I'm okay ;D

imstillsorry.

Everyone thinks that i'm happy and fine , but look a little closer , you'll see tears in my eyes.

Suffering in silence

then again , silence is a girl's loudest cry

"paint this big ol' smile on my face , to hide my broken heart"

I wrote this yesterday in my notebook . time to transfer ;D

To-do list

 Calm down

Stay strong

Smilee! ;D

(even if it hurts , be some masochist and SMILE ;D)

Stop thinking so much 

Focus on God! He will help me ;D

Put 100% or more in worship . ;D

Slowly get up and stand up for myself

(no one's gonna tell me what to/not to do. My decisions!)

Try to stop liking fdagdaihfi. ;D

Appreciate and show more love to the people around me

do NOT emo . It is a joyous day! :D

Regarding the (fdasfdj)s , let em' fade and never repeat

Give up , in a good way , as in 

give up things that hurt . 

itsgonnatakealonglongtime~

I can't help myself .

What the heck is happening to me . . ?

I've never gone so all out before .

I've never missed someone so much before .

What the heck is happening . . ):

GIVE UP VAL ..

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING )):

i seriously wish i could . . 

I don't know how to face you later . 

I really don't .

ifeellikecrying,butthetearsdontcomeout.

Isupposethatsagoodthing. ;]

Je laisse aller de tout

i don't really care if you read this or not .

I don't wanna know .

But I've enough , I need to let it out. 

Prolly after this you'd distance yourself from me more

And stop communicating with me . 

But yeah . 

Bleah . 

I'm sorry that I started it all by getting your number

I'm sorry that I started texting you .

I'm sorry that after that I fell in like , then love. 

I'm sorry that I confessed it early . 

I'm sorry that until now , I'm unable to let go .

I'm sorry that I lied to you saying it wasn't you .

I'm sorry that you have to suffer being liked by me.

I'm sorry that I'm too dumb to understand that you will never like me

I'm sorry that I keep thinking that someday a fantasy will occur .

I'm sorry if you're reading this , you must feel sucky.

I'm sorry that after this , we stop being friends.

I'm sorry that after this , you'll start to hate me .

I'm sorry that even if the two above things mentioned occur , 

I will continue liking you . Hopelessly. 

I'm sorry you have to have such a bitch in your life.

I'm sorry that you have to read my rantings 

I'm sorry that you had to play the piano for me the other time.

I'm sorry that I keep remembering what it sounded like .

I'm sorry that I keep hoping you'd play it again for me. 

I'm sorry that I'm being so stubborn 

I'm sorry for everything else not mentioned here .

Sorry .